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| 02:22pm 02/08/2008 |
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mood:  bored music: sigur ros
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I should really change this layout up a bit. If I even remember how. And put some pictures up that aren't like four years old.
Exams are in less than two weeks. After that, I'll be in my second year of school. The first year, though only eight months, has flown by. I am, in addition to studying for exams, applying for summer associate positions around the country for next summer. I'm applying all over the place, and it's actually kind of exciting to think about where I could end up next: Atlanta? Boston? LA again? DC .... !
Needless to say, life is pretty busy. I study sooooo many hours a day. Until about a month ago, I was going to the gym like EVERY DAY. And now, yesterday was the first time in two weeks. I even forgot to pay my rent until I was reminded this morning, after it's already late! AAAAHHH. After exams, though, I'm going to Napa, Sonoma, and Lake Tahoe for a week. I've lived in California for over four years now, and I've never been to any of those places. Soooo excited!
And other than that, San Diego is great. Seriously one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. It's 74 degrees here right now; what's the weather like where YOU are? Who am I kidding; It's basically 74 degrees every day of the year here. Someone told me that the only place w/ better weather is Hawaii. Hmmm ... Hawaii .... |
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| 10:09am 19/06/2008 |
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mood:  busy music: tutor talk
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so yeeeeeeah.
grades came out. 91.64 of 95.00. got the highest grade of 95 in two classes: property and civil procedure.
things're going well. i just may be a lawyer after all someday. |
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| 03:05pm 11/05/2008 |
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so grades come out in less than three weeks.
eeek.
OH PS: i'm in washington over memorial day weekend. going to sasquatch to see some VERY VERY VERY cool bands .... Flight of the Conchords, Death Cab for Cutie, Modest Mouse, REM, MIA, the Cure, Spearhead, Presidents of the US, Cold War Kids, Mars Volta, and Flaming Lips ......
any of you guys going? or are any of you in town that weekend?
as they say, lemme know, yo! |
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| 08:18am 29/03/2008 |
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mood:  awake
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it's weird to think i really haven't used livejournal ... like "really" used it, in a couple of years. it seems a lot of my "friends" un-friended me. ah well.
so, law school. you know, it's funny how i ended up here. i never really contemplated being a lawyer at all until about six months ago. and here i am.
it's strange being back in school after taking a couple years off. i see some of my classmates who are a couple of years younger than me, and i think ... 'wow. by the time they're my age, they'll already BE what they want to be.'
in some respects, it's good it has happened this way. geez, i floundered about what i wanted to do in life for so long ... from the time i started college, up until six months ago. i remember when i first moved to LA and was trying to find another job, but really not having much success, how defeated i felt. i remember crying and not knowing what to do, and my boyfriend brad telling me, 'you're gonna do something. you're gonna do something. wait and see.'
being out in the "real world" is so different from "school world." while i was in undergrad, all i could think about was getting OUT, being an ADULT, moving to LA. personally i love being back in "school world," and as cliche as it sounds (and i know it does), being out in the "real world" really is helping me back in this "school world." i mean, jobs can be difficult. you go to work, 9 to 5, every day. there's no "skipping" work. i was in charge of fifteen stores in LA, and that was a tough, thankless job.
i entered this chapter of my life knowing i was going to apply my work ethic to school this time around. i used to be notorious for skipping class. our semester ends in two weeks. i haven't missed one class. i study constantly. i'm ahead of most of my classmates.
---I BROKE THE CURVE ON OUR ONE MIDTERM EXAM---
in LAW SCHOOL, y'all. where everyone here was in the top 10% of their class in undergrad.
so, all in all, my "professional" life is now on track.
at this point, i just have to get the personal crap together. |
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| 09:22pm 28/03/2008 |
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mood:  complacent
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so law school finals are coming up three weeks from today.
all i do is study these days.
any of you guys use facebook? |
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| psh |
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| 12:45pm 15/01/2008 |
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i don't even know when the last time i posted in my personal journal was, though i'm lurking around communities all the time.
i figured a quick update is due.
ok, i moved to san diego about a month ago from LA. and i started law school.
yay. that's about it, suckers. |
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| gym time |
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| 05:45pm 18/02/2007 |
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I've recently started working out.
I have been trying to go three times a week. So far, that's been working.
I got a big wake-up call when I went back to South Carolina last month. Practically everyone was overweight! I've been in LA the past couple of years, where practically everyone has had some form of plastic surgery, so it was a real shock. I don't want to end up that way, and I really do think that for a lot of people it's just gradual pounds that pile up through the years. So, I joined a gym.
While I'm not sure whether I like the particular experience of gym world, I DO like the results I'm seeing in such a short time period. I've not ever been one to keep track of my weight (I've never owned a scale), so maybe I've lost some pounds and maybe I haven't. But I am starting to see a little muscle here and there. And I feel great! It's cliche to say, but I really really really do feel great.
Oh. And I have a personal trainer. I haven't met him/her yet. I think I'll start my sessions next week.
I keep crossing my fingers this is a lifestyle change, not something I'm going to get tired of soon.
So far.... |
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| 07:58pm 17/02/2007 |
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i tried to upload some newer pictures of me today, but i'm obviously an airhead. or livejournal sucks-- one or the other. both?
i'm in a weird spot at the moment. i'm recalling how things/people/places used to be, and now i'm finding those things/people/places very different from what i recall. surely everyone reaches this point in life; i couldn't see how one wouldn't.
however, here i am, in this spot, and it's weirding me out.
it's like life's making a point to tell me that it's fleeting and often taken for granted. |
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| semi-proclamation |
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| 10:49pm 01/12/2006 |
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For some reason, I've gotten a sudden urge to post in my livejournal. I really haven't been much of a computer person the past few years, not to say I haven't used computers, but moreso to say I haven't used them for any sort of entertainment purposes in quite a while now. I also suddenly realize that writing things out was a way of sorting out the miscellaneous things floating haphazardly through my brain, so I figured I'd give it a shot.
I'm going on a boat next week -- Christmas party. Work-related. In the ocean, where I think the high is going to be like 45 degrees. I'm starting to re-think this great idea, originating from one of my associates. Besides, I'm not even really sure what I have to wear to this thing ... somehow long johns and a parka don't seem appropriate boat/work attire (wtf?). Neither does freezing my rear off, though. |
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| 12:53am 10/11/2006 |
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does anyone else have this gizmo project thing ? |
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| LIFE. |
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| 11:51am 08/10/2006 |
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mood: content music: NFL background
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wow. ok, so i got a promotion. actually, i got THE promotion, the one i've really been working towards for about a year now. i'm in training through the end of october, before i take the crazy plunge into "multi-unit management." everyone i've talked to says this is the biggest jump/adjustment i'll have to make my entire career, and i tend to share that thought. Q4 just started, and i'm not expecting to do much except work through the end of the year. great perks, though ... company car, digital camera, laptop ... i never have to pay for gas anymore! oh. and i got a couple company credit cards. i keep saying to myself, 'they're trusting ME w/ this?!? man, i have everyone fooled.' oh yeah, and i get to work from home.
i feel like i am finally MAKING IT, and i have to tell you, that's a new feeling for me. since moving to california, i have felt that professionally speaking, i have let myself way down. i had felt i was too good for what i was doing, and i didn't really see a way up. the proverbial glass ceiling kept knocking me out cold.
i think i could do what i'm doing now for a long time and be very, very happy. i just hope i'm good at it. |
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| 11:51am 22/01/2006 |
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i was going to put some pics up here, but it was such an arduous process, that ultimately i gave up. for now.
i'm feeling all out of sorts. i think my youth is whizzing by me, and i wonder if i'm doing what i am supposed to be doing.
there was a time in my life that i thought i'd travel and live in lots of cities and meet lots of people, and lately i feel stuck in this rut i'm not even so sure i want to be in.
and it's not just one aspect of my life, either. it's multi-faceted and pretty complicated.
when i was a sophomore in college, i took this native american history class that completely changed the way i saw our government.
i was incredibly moved to DO something when i graduated college. and i never did it, never moved to south dakota, never helped out with this cause that i really believe in.
and the older i get and the more comfortable i become with who i am, the reason why is so glaringly obvious.
i have been so scared to be alone my whole life.
when i went to governor's school, i knew ellis. it made the whole situation so much easier.
i knew steve in college, and i lived with him.
as soon as steve was out of the picture, or probably more accurately, on his way out, there was brad. and i committed to him pretty quickly too.
i never really sat down and thought about what it was that i really wanted. and honestly, it didn't even occur to me. i have become so accustomed to making these sacrifices or
compromises that i never wanted to make. and it's no one's fault but my own. and maybe this is just wisdom you gain with age. it's funny, you know, my whole life i've thought
of myself as this oh-so-very-mature person. i know now i really didn't know anything when i made such tremendous decisions about the course of my life.
you know, i am a proponent that you shouldn't go to college until you're 25. because i had no idea what the fuck i was doing at 18.
i've made so many important changes in my life in the past year. and i'm not scared to be alone anymore. i don't have to make undutiful sacrifices for someone to love me and,
more importantly, for me to be happy. i swear to god, i'm at the breaking point.
in the past couple of days, i've been seduced with the idea of moving to another country with a completely different culture. i've heard that the japanese are very receptive to americans
learning about their culture.
i mean, fuck, tokyo ? how fucking cool is that ?
i feel so much stronger in the past few months, this new me. i'll let you know how it turns out. |
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| myspace |
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| 11:09am 16/12/2005 |
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are any of you guys on myspace ? let me know & i'll add you.
:X |
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| november. |
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| 03:14pm 13/11/2005 |
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there has been so much going on, and i'm not really sure what's appropriate for this half-assed journal anymore.
my new job is great, but a lot of work. i've encountered the full fury of my previous (IE JEALOUS) co-workers. ..... .........
since when was work the place to gossip and talk pure shit about people ???? just a question, food for thought, i suppose.
my boss is out of town on vacation, starting yesterday, and i'm in charge of all the managers. i had asked them to do one simple five-minute worksheet yesterday and fax it to me before noon. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF THE 14 MANAGERS DID THIS ?!?!???? two. TWO. then i had to call them, bitch at them, hear their obviously not-well-thought-out excuses, and insist they get their worksheets in to me. I was still waiting at 8 pm last night for a couple of them. SERIOUSLY. i think you just have to be breathing to be a sales manager. sheesh.
gonna be around here thanksgiving day, which i'm kind of diggin. last year we were with brad's fam, and while that's great and all, the best thanksgiving i ever had was when he and i were in south carolina, cooking our own dinner and starting our own traditions. we'll leave for san francisco to be with his family the day after thanksgiving, and i think i have a whole, much-needed, seven days off.
i just realized how very little i am on a computer these days. do i even still have lj friends ?
i wouldn't be my friend. i'd feel all neglected or something. pff as if. |
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| 11:24pm 02/09/2005 |
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So many professional changes happening quickly. i'm getting a promotion and changing locations. actually, more like changing locations and getting a promotion, in that order. this is a big step for me, as according to my boss, i am entering an 'executive' level rather than 'managerial' level. and hey, that's cool, as it seems i'm progressing towards something i'd actually really like to do. i have a goal with a tentative timeline.
you know, growing up i was always seen as the "special child." i was really intelligent and i lived in a small town, and i think i had a reputation as an eccentric girl who was "special." my second high school was difficult for me because i went to a school for only "special" kids, and each one of us had our own entitlement issues about that. the school really promoted individuality, and each one of us was talented at something different. i was a chemistry whiz. and one of the only decent looking girls there. i got paid to go to college, published some research, and everyone thought i was "special." something i've noticed about people, when they think you're "special," they treat you with a sort of reverence. your opinion counts. you are acknowledged. and, to a large extent, you dictate and dominate. i think in my work up to this point, i have been floundering because i thought i was only mediocre and not "special." i guess i've always thought highly of my professional skills and intelligence and thought others couldn't deny those traits inside of me. and, it seems, that without my awareness of the situation, others were noticing me. others see something in me that people want so badly. i can't wait to prove just how good i really am.
i know i won't be poor forever.
i know i've got passion, discipline, and integrity.
and most importantly, i know i'm "special."
let the games begin. |
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| 10:20pm 30/07/2005 |
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i was going to write a long entry about how disappointed i am in a friend's actions, but honestly, i have very little to say on the subject.
apparently an old friend, while visiting vegas, was set to meet a girl online who never showed.
i felt really bad for the guy.
turns out, though, he had a girlfriend at home the whole time.
man, it's so hard not to lose faith in people.
when do we finally become adults and quit this bullshit ?
are we THAT fucking scared of being alone ? |
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| THE END. |
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| 09:18pm 20/07/2005 |
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mood: relieved music: law and order
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bought a car today.
which means: IT'S OVER! this one-year seven-day nightmare is over.
thank god!
this has so many impacts on my personal growth, my relationship, and my career.
i realized today how, for the past year, i was still waiting for someone to take care of my shit.
... caught in that stage between girlhood and womanhood.
i was feeling sorry for myself, the situation, my lack of freedom.
i made a giant leap into adulthood today.
i bought a car, with my own money, no co-signers, less-than perfect credit.
AND ... a $19,995 2005 toyota camry SE .. something. it's black.
i made it happen.
wow, i'm an adult.
so what's next? we can accomplish anything. |
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| 12:02pm 20/07/2005 |
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mood: good music: u2
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my friend suzanne just had a baby.
brad and i went to visit her and her husband brian at the hospital yesterday.
the baby - caleb - is so tiny. i'd never been so close to a newborn before.
i wouldn't hold him b/c i thought i'd break him.
it's surreal - suzanne's a mom. i'm still trying to get used to that idea.
brad and i got a puppy, a miniature schnauzer named roxy.
we had been looking for a dog for months, but nothing ever really went the way it was supposed to ...
until roxy just kind of fell on our laps.
applying for auto loans today, and then going to the doctor today.
what a non-fun day off, eh ?
there are, however, responsibilities i have been putting off that i really need to take care of.
next up: buying a car, going to the dentist, and going to the eye doctor.
as for those who have been concerned, i am really happy.
i'm in a good place, surrounded by good people.
things are working out OK. |
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| AAAAAAHHHHHH @(#$*&(@#*&$ |
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| 12:34pm 19/05/2005 |
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i'm so frustrated with the relationship i am in, and the irony is that the one place i used to talk, vent, and write about such things is the one place i cannot talk, vent, and write about such things.
i think i need a new journal.
i have a lot of shit in my head that needs to come out. |
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